You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
