Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
