My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
