he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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