I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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