i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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