i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
