Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
