Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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