her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
