At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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