OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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