look no pants
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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