We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
