chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
