He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sorry my hands just texted you
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
