trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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