You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
