I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
