Whod you bang
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize