she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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