i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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