Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
