Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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