everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
