shes about as inviting as chlamydia
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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