How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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