Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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