Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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