well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
