sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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