she was so not down for the gang bang
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
