don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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