Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
