I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wanna passion pit in your ass
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
