Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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