Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
