she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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