i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
