Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
