its not stalking. its research.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
