and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
