And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
