I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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