I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I wish there were birth control emojis
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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