Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
