I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
