His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
