it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
