would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
