sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
