So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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