I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
me + whiskey = a bad person
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
