I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
